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New Wine

Psalms 51:2-3
“Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions, and my sin is always before me.”
Broken. I feel as though my heart has shattered into a thousand pieces. I am on a downhill fall and I am unsure how to make it stop. The pain, the hurt, the trauma. What am I supposed to do when I am on an island over 1,000 miles away from home? I can run to the comfort of my depression and I can hide from the faces of my teammates, but I cannot hide from the presence of the Lord. My only options are to give these struggles to the Lord or remain at a standstill with the enemy, giving him yet again another chance to have victory over my soul. However, I am no longer willing to allow the enemy victory, therefore, the battle of my mind rages on as it never has before. I came to Potter’s Field for change; I came to Potter’s Field to overcome; I came to Potter’s Field to finally choose Jesus. Romans 8:18 reminds me, “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” Jesus knew before I was born that the pain I am feeling now would put me at a crossroads. He knows even now that I want so desperately what He wants for me, but that my flesh is weak. I need His love, I need Him to surround me, but mostly, I need to surrender. I need to begin realizing that it truly is okay that I am incapable of doing this on my own because I was never designed to. The Lord has called me to approach His throne with boldness, at street-level and He, in return, will meet me where I am. He will be my strength when I am weak and His glory will shine through me even on my darkest days. I have recently found the comfort of Christ in the song “New Wine” by Hillsong Worship which has revealed to me during this fragile time that during the crashing and pressing of this life, the Lord is making my wretched heart new; He is bringing new wine out of me. 

Application
This week, I will exclude secular music from my playlist to enrich my walk with Christ. 
-Make me a vessel, make me an offering, make me whatever you want me to be. I came here with nothing, but all you have given me; Jesus bring new wine out of me.- 

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