Eyes of Clarity

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Overwhelming Conflict

Psalms 91:2 “I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust.”” This past Sunday, team Uganda had the privilege to lead the two church services. From worship to the sermon, the Lord was present. Having never sung in front of really anyone to being on the worship team and having not one, but two solos, was rather frightening. In addition to having a spirit of fear, the morning of, I was faced with a myriad of conflict as a glob of toothpaste dropped slyly onto the shirt I was planning on wearing, I did not have a necklace to match the shirt I then had to put on, and I ran out of time for curling my hair and ironing my skirt. I knew the enemy was seeking to do whatever he could to focus my eyes on myself rather than on what the Lord was attempting to do in and through me for that day, but I was already defeated and left wondering how a day that had begun so terribly could have a positive outcome. I needed a fresh outpouring of the Holy Spirit f

Gunk

II Timothy 3:12 “Yes, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution.” Persecution comes in many different and sometimes hidden forms as it has for me during this past week. However, like Paul, I was not called to an easy life, I was called to a better life, a life that will stretch me into the likeness of Jesus Christ. For this likeness to take place, I must be removed of “self” and continuously filled with His Holy Spirit. A hardy process indeed because dying to self, as I have come to realize, is not in my nature. I want what I want when I want it because in my flesh, my life is all about me. Dying to self inquires having no rights because dead men have no rights, they are dead. This means they do not complain, they do not fight back. When I began Potter’s Field in January, I was only a witness to what I thought would be loss and I was hesitant to surrender because I knew that pain and suffering would inevitably follow. I wanted to live godly but I was

Warped into Obsession

Luke 12:15 “And He said to them, “Take heed and beware of covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses.” What fuels my life? Is it the things which I possess or is it living a life that is satisfying to Jesus Christ? In this parable, Jesus warns the people in Corinth by sharing about a man who focused his efforts on his wealth instead of on the things of the Lord. If I am being completely honest, I am not much different from this man who is consumed with self. When blessings come, the first person I think of is myself. It is not in my nature to think first of how I can benefit someone else with what has been bestowed so graciously upon me. My mind becomes warped into obsession over my blessings that I become forgetful in the mere fact that it is only by the Lord that I have been provided for with what I have. It is only when I surrender myself completely to the Lord that He is able to create in me a clean heart, His heart, a heart for o

Vertical Identity

Psalms 139:13-14 “For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.” It is so easy to get caught up in the lies of the enemy who whispers in my ear that I am not good enough. It is so easy to look to the left and to the right at my sisters in Christ and compare myself to their seeming flawlessness, forgetting that Jesus died for their sins, too. Sure, I am louder and more outspoken than most, but this by no means indicates that the Lord loves me any less because He created me to be that way. It is only when I come to accept these aspects about myself that I consider to be so detrimental that the Lord can use them for His glory and my good. Does this mean that I will assume perfection? Absolutely not, but it does mean that I no longer have to be a slave to self-hatred. It means that I no longer have to rely on horizontal approval when my identity

Picture Perfect

Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a god work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.” They say that good things take time but to be completely and utterly transformed into the likeness of Jesus takes a lifetime. I will never reach perfection until I meet Jesus face to face at the gates of eternal paradise but this by no means indicates that He will keep me at a standstill. In fact, with confidence I am able to state that by His gracious hand, a good work has indeed begun within me and will continue as long as I remain willing. I have recently been reading “The Making of a Man of God”, written by Alan Redpath, which gives a clear summary of what having a willing heart looks like, stating: “Let a man be right with God, reconciled through the blood of the cross, humbled at the foot of Calvary; let him be broken, coming to God guilty and hopeless and needy; and at that moment God takes hold of him and transforms and uses all his

Purposeful Waiting

Lamentations 3:25 “The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him.” Waiting is difficult. So much so that waiting on the Lord seems almost unbearable. Because of my fallen nature, my mind is consumed with self, focusing on fulfilling the desires of my own heart rather than walking the path of righteousness that the Lord has set forth in front of me. Why? Because I assume that the plans which I create for myself are better than the plans of the One who created me. The Lord knows the desires of my heart, He placed them there purposefully. If only I would surrender them to Him, waiting on His good and perfect timing would not become such a heartache. I would not have to bear the consequences of wrongful decisions because my reliance and trust that the Lord is going to provide for me will prevent me from falling into the lie that compromise is okay. Compromise is the enemy receiving victory as I settle for less than what the Lord so desperately wants to give me