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Who is God?

Hebrews 11:6
“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”

Here, the Lord speaks of how those who live in faith live in Him. In my own life, I will never please the Lord because I am confused about His character and ultimately, I do not want to submit to His authority. I beg and plead God to soften my heart towards Him and help me understand Who He is and His purpose, but I continuously find myself in the desert, alone. I pray for peace and understanding, for comfort and healing, but my prayers are always left unanswered. People always speak of having a “God moment” and I wonder in awe when my time will finally come, when I will not feel confused about every aspect of my life and what my purpose is. Scripture reading only fills my heart with rage. The Bible is a book of seemingly never ending rules and as I continue in my reading, I ask myself why anyone would want to follow a God who requires everything from us for only His glory. To submit to a God I cannot even see, who takes all the credit for the work that I do does not seem like a God I would ever have a heart to follow. But yet, I feel convicted because I know He is real but I do not understand His love for me. Why is it so challenging for me to submit to God’s authority? Why do I feel empty with a hardened heart towards Him and those around me? When will I finally feel loved by the One who supposedly loves all His people? When will I have faith strong enough to believe that God can move the mountains?

Application
Today, I will ask the Lord to show me more of His character and His love for me.

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